This is a picture of eight young men becoming postulants in the Province of the Solomon Islands March 1, just before Compline at the Chapel at Hautambu.
A couple of weeks ago, on the day before they were to become postulants, I was asked two questions:
What is a postulant?
And
Why do we wear brown?
The first question was from a delegation of four who worked up their courage to come see me at my hut, the second was from a young man who missed out wearing tht white cassock alb because we didn't have enough and he had to wear a brown tunic but without the rope or hood.
Explaining to my nervous delegation, I said the term "postulant" is related to the word "postulate," but none of them had ever heard that word before. Then I thought of Rilke's Letters to a Young Poet in which he advises him to "live the questions" but I didn't want to get into Rilke with them either. Postulants, I said, is a name for people who are asking the question: "What is God's will for me?" When you become a postulant you are asked a question: What do you seek? And the answer is God's will for me.
I also said I still wondered about it--what is God's will for me. It's a huge question, and although I feel I have answered some of the basic pieces of it, I still wonder. I am confident God's will for me is that I am a Christian, a priest and a friar. II enjoy my ministry and count it as God's will for me too. But there is the question of my daily choices, some of which can have far-reaching implications. What is God's will for me as a friar and a priest in the future?
Ogbviously it is not something I can answer til I get there, and the "future" is an ever-receding horizon, in one sense. But then I know one rounds a corner and life's choices seem stark and well defined. I felt very close to these men as they shrugged into their new clothes and said with utter seriousness: "I seek God and his will for me." In a way, I suspect each of us watching this eventprayed they would find a home with us, discover God's will in the working out of innumerable situations and relationships, in times of prayer and reflection. I hope without too many tears.
The "brown" question has to do with Francis and his desire to be humble and ordinary like the sparrows, to wear the color of humility. Again I had to go to Latin and tell them about brown the color of earth, which is called humus, which is related to humility. It like Ash Wednesday all year long when we are reminded we are but dust. But this is something that liberates us, it isn't a sad thing. We are from the earth, the source of our life is God, just as it is the source of all life on earth.
Watching new men come to test our vocation, old questions come back.
